Can know

Secret is like knowledge from school. 

The more stuff you wanna know, the more stuff you will not know. 

The more stuff you don't wanna know, the more stuffs you will know. 

Robinson Can Know. 

Winter Awakenings

Maybe it has to do with the cold weather all the time.
Such weather took away my energy to play actively,
and force me to get quiet and have some quiet time.

And these quiet times last week have given a great deal of awakenings.

At the midst of my lunch nap last week, I suddenly heard the following words from the holy spirits:
"Just because you (Jacob) had given up everything in the United States to honor my parents' wishes, doesn't mean you have the right to get everything you want in Hong Kong. You can't have it, because God has decided to give something else for you and others people, and these items suit His plan and work very well. God have the best plan for you, your families as well as everyone else."

As a result, I am humiliated. I realize I should stop asking God to get me anything, because my requested items are just what I want, and not what I need.

All I need is let His kingdom comes and His wills will be done.

All praise to our Jesus and heavenly Father.

Amen.

Heart

Let the hearts speak.
Let the hearts sing.
Their words can never get me wrong.

Lost

最後，我又輸左。
I hate losing.

It has been a really weird week for me.
Even my PS4 failed on me.

I do not remember where is this thought coming from but sound very entertaining.

Oh really? Oh really?!
His thoughts bought me back to my undergraduate time,
when I was very naive and immature.
Yet, the following years taught me be real and accept the fact -
these ideal believes will only entertain us for a minute, but hurt everyone forever.

I think we are being real at this point,
and we are going to do such such such for the world?

WAIT A MINUTE, how did you get here?

Thank You

Dear ppl who have followed me all the way from Jireh blog/ xanga. Thank you for your support. Thank you for still reading my blog as you have to access through such weird blog url name. Well, it show how much care you all have on me, and I am much appreciates. And to reward you all, you guyz are going to be the first ppl (well as always) to know my thoughts and decisions about my life.

Finally, I finished this one-year term as the chair of my Christian  fellowship this year, and I would like not to renew my term for next year because I feel too lonely working on this position while I'm not getting paid. I wish I could do others things next year.

Yet, It doesn't mean I like this fellowship. I love to be part of this fellowship. How God have changed our lives amaze me. I am humble and the only things I wanna response to Him are appreciation and obedience.

Thank you God and you all again.

Books and Video Games

Lately, I choose to read and play video games as much as I could again,
because I did too much as the chair of the fellowship again.
True, I need to slow down a bit to get some fresh air from it.

Right, I should do nth about it,
so you guyz find no reason how what I had done.

Even if someone will complain me that i didn't do anything,
I believe the following -
Complain me didn't do anything is always better than complain me I have done too much.

Better, if someone complain me I am too lazy and I should step down.
I would definitely love to step down.

Step up, show me why you are better me in this situation.

Beautiful

It is too beautiful right there,
but I choose to stay here and fight,
because I wan to spend life with something I want to do.

Working in the industry of HK transportation.
It's something I really want to do.

Right there, I mean Champaign, it is too beautiful.
It's too fun to live there,
but I could not find anything I will really love work on.

If I am going to spend my life there again, I think I will just live and do same thing everyday there and don't find any innovative stuff there. Do I want to live my life that way? Nope. I don't want to waste my interest and passion like that.

It is my dilemma.
I understand that so I have no hard feeling that I could miss this beautiful thing right there again.
Well, heaven is preparing the best stuff for us anyway.
No need to rush to have any luxury now.

Understand

Understand? When would we understand?
There is something we need to understand.
I want to understand it.

Otherwise, for what is the reason to read that much bible?

No Know

After I know they don't want to know what I can do,
I never let them know.

I could still survive anyway.

Being a man

These are reasons why I put away my childish thoughts.

I turn my head to the East
I don't see nobody by my side
I turn my head to the West
Still nobody in sight
So I turn my head to the North
Swallow that pill that they call pride
That old me is dead and gone
But that new me will be alright

“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” - 1 Corinthians 13:11

Don't Understanding

Hard to live when everyone  misunderstanding don't understand us at all. 

At the midst of our frustration, no one have any mercy for us. 

Yet, they are being even harder on me, and it's helping me to develop my own madness.

And when my madness unleashed,

people didn't try to find out the origin of my madness. 

They just try to stop it, 

and they believe the madness will be stopped.

Exactly, that's what we call in the following Chinese proverb - 

"頭痛醫頭."

This happened few years ago, and eventually It helped me to realize how much people don't want me, and I choose to take a break and leave. 

And from that day on, I never step into that church again. 

And I don't know when I'll feel like to step in again. 

Being Real

I like to be real,
because it could take away all of the fake stuffs.

Still Miss

Still miss them, because they still remember me and ask me to come back time to time.
Especially at the time when I have no value at all.

Thank you for loving me unconditionally,
I always know I don't deserve it.

Isolate , but no solitude

Already miss my own space in my office.

Love

NO, I never ask ppl to love me.
I am doing all these good things and living in the right way
because I love you all.

Your love will come because of who you are,
not who I am.
not what I've done.

People and Money

Don't like to friend with people who put money in the 1st place.
I don't friend with people who put money in the 1st place.

Too disappoint to see all these money dramas out there.
I should just hide in my own cave and do my own things without any care.  

Friends - Wills and Still

So on the other day, I had done some disrespect things to a group of my good friends.
I know as a result, I could lose this group of good friends forever.
My righteousness pushed me so bad which pushed me to confess to my parents and another group of friends who know me so well.
And here is the only positive feedback from my dad, "if they are really your friends, they will forgive you and still remain as good friends forever."
Hence, now is the time to tell who are we really are.

I know that rule don't apply to everyone who I know,
but well, we'll see.

One Good Dream

Have a really good dream last night. 
When I woke up from my dream this morning, I thought I was still in my dream. 

Yet, I once I realize it just a dream. 
I immediate yelled,
I labor for my dream,
but my dream never labor for me. 

Thanks for being real in a good way, my dream.

Focus in one place

Focus what happen in the past now because there is nothing worthy to focus right now. Future? It won't be ok naturally unless we make it ok.

Money.Frame

No, I don't sold my soul for money and/or frame.

God Knows

I think God knows I like jokes very much.
I think that's why He is always joking with me in funny ways.

Sad but funny.

Who he play for?

I only play for friendship.

Robinson Can Know

Thanks for letting me know that much.
Once you know, you can't don't know. 

一旦知道，不可不知道

At there

That's right.
At there, I was living in a place where no one will step up for you until you stood up for yourself.

Trash

Dear God,

After a great but sad sharing night.
This is what happen. 

They don't like me They don't like me.
Even I am doing great progress now,
They still don't like me and treat me as trash.

Ah, Why I have to figure out this coldest truth.
I suddenly have no more passion to do anything now.

Come and talk to me again.

Love,
Jacob

Let Go

Everytime i fell into another drama,
I will think of another dramas which I don't want to think of.

To let go, I guess I need to ignore all of the dramas even though they are surrounding me.
However, I need to avoid ppl feel I don't care any of their drama,
because that will create another dramas.
Especially this time, this batch of ppl will force me to face it once they know I am ignoring them.
They just don't recognize the right function of ignorance .

I am ignoring them. Yes, I am, but why.
Because I want to see God only, I don't want to see any drama.

忘記了告訴這世界是你與我同在

First thing first, thanks for Zion Noiz putting such beautiful pieces for us again, much appreciate

Understand the Concept of Honesty

Too Honest to give them away.
give it away, give it away
give it away now.

And sometimes it have to take as long as 10 years to have a mutual understanding as Rondo mentions in the following:

“I think this is 10 years for Noah and I that we’ve played against each other. We played each other in AAU and obviously in college, so Noah and I have been battling for a long time. A very long time. About two years ago, we came to an understanding, because we were always going at each other, and we didn’t never really understand why, but I think it’s because we both love to compete. He’s a guy who’s going to bring it every night, and I do the same, but we don’t play the same position, so one game we were at the free throw line and just thought about why we even go at each other. We kind of squashed it. No beef. No big deal. He’s fun to compete against.”
 

Church and Workplace

If I never been to Chicago, I don't think I will hold my faith that strong.
Workplace i just too nice to me.
They never want me to overwork.
They make sure I am growing.
They make sure I am doing the stuffs I love.
They always help me when I need help.
Therefore, I always come to work with smiles. 

I wonder what's wrong with my churches these days,
because none of these things I am experiencing in my workplace are happen in my churches in HK.

Well, It didn't happen in CCUC after I left Jireh fellowship either.
These good things only happen twice when I was in Champaign.

What a Blame

明明係自己讀得書少，做咩賴人教得唔好？
WORD.

The Vision

Thanks for ppl who didn't give up on me in the past few months.
I think I know where I belong to.

Older and Older.

The older we are, the more forgiveness we have to give out.

太 6:14    你們饒恕人的過犯，你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯；
太 6:15    你們不饒恕人的過犯，你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。

And more forgiveness opportunities are coming. 

Get Out

People could take me out of the studio but people can't take the studio out of me.

Nightmire, I am still trying to overcome you.

It is always sad and disappointing to witness your family members defended an outside man against us.
I am trying to overcome this nightmire.
Still sounds very new and terrible to me though it happened 4 years already.

2014 Forecasting

I want to forecast my future with these assumption now,
so I could know the result,
so I know if I am on the right track.
Otherwise, it is not late to change my plan now.

Time is too short.
I don't like to waste them and put myself in a place where I couldn't turn myself back again.